Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you have quite a dilemma to deal with and i am glad that that you have a high priority to your child with all this going on.

The line about you “being her father” is the one that strikes me as most interesting. While your ex is obviously causing strain and needs to be dealt with i wonder what it is that makes your wife react to your advice the way she does?

Without more information I could not really judge but this could uncover more about her dissatisfaction. Most wives will put up with a lot and will help you with your problems if they feel safe, secure, loved and respected (a tall order for any man!) but if they feel uncomfortable with some aspect of your relationship then this problem with the mother becomes an added stress.

I would focus on your relationship from a real ground up level, go back to how you were when you first got together and remind each other why you were in love. Then you can peel back the real reasons for dissatisfaction.

Get to the bottom of why your wife is comparing you to her father too, that sounds like something that needs to be discussed. When my wife compares me to her father it often a hint that i am being domineering for instance but everyone has different fathers.