Comments on: How to Save a Sexless Marriage & Bring Back the Passion http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/2009/03/how-to-save-a-sexless-marriage-bring-back-the-passion/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:50:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: abhay http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/2009/03/how-to-save-a-sexless-marriage-bring-back-the-passion/comment-page-1/#comment-3481 abhay Tue, 31 Aug 2010 10:02:48 +0000 http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/?p=699#comment-3481 Porn is soooooo addictive! and can change your <a href="http://www.sexless-marriage-problem.com" rel="nofollow">sexless marriage</a> life. I truely learned how addictive my husband was about 3yrs ago. It put the biggest damper in our sex life and was partly due to me leaving my then fiance. I left him in 2006 (a couple of mths after our 10yr anniversary) because I couldn't take the sexlessness anymore. Over the 6mths of being apart from him I explained how his lack of intimacy, lack of communication, lack of listening to me explain what I wanted/needed from the relationship - just lackness, bothered me and I couldn't be in such a hostile environment and THE DEPRESSION WAS TORTURE!! So, here we are 2010, married for 2 yrs and back to him being so "comfortable" in this relationship he feels he doesn't have to do anything anymore. While we were seperated I did meet someone who satisfied my sexual needs and OMG, it was what I was missing for so long. During the seperation I did keep communication open with my ex, but had to stop because we argued each time we spoke. He couldn't understand what I was attempting to tell him as to why I left and kept telling me he didn't make me feel this way or that. Eventually I ended up cutting communication with him altogether, giving him the opportunity to look at the past 10yrs and reflect. About 5mths after I had left we started talking again and eventually started to re-kindle things. Sex had been re-introduced and soon after we got back together. Being together for 10yrs did play a role and me leaving and giving him time to look back on what I was trying to tell him from the start helped. I fell in love again. Recently, I provided him with information about having an open marriage so we both can get benefits that the other wasn't proving - me the sexual satisfaction and for him I dont know because he see nothing wrong with our relationship. HE SHUT DOWN!!! He wouldn't talk to me about the subject, simply ignored it totally. But . . . if I tell him now that I want to have sex, he comes running! It wasn't a tactic to scare him because I was seriously thinking about sleeping with someone else for the satisfaction. I thought about leaving but felt I would only be leaving to get satisfaction from that other person and then my husband would get his act right and we would end up back together. So, it would be pointless to say "oh, well were seperated": and that no excuse - you are still considered cheating either way. I LOVE my husband, I just need him to see what his "lack of" is doing to our marriage. So, try proving him with information on an open marriage and see how he feels about that, but also keep in mind this is what you will be going through the entire time you are married - a sexless, unhealthy, depressed marriage. Can you deal with all these things for the next 40yrs? A sex therapist to see why he dosen't/isn't pleased with you and would prefer porn. Believe me the porn will tempt and possibly lead to him cheating - I've been there also, along with a couple of friends I've asked about this subject. This information has been from life experiences from both myself and a few friends. I hope this helps. Good luck. Porn is soooooo addictive! and can change your sexless marriage life. I truely learned how addictive my husband was about 3yrs ago. It put the biggest damper in our sex life and was partly due to me leaving my then fiance. I left him in 2006 (a couple of mths after our 10yr anniversary) because I couldn’t take the sexlessness anymore. Over the 6mths of being apart from him I explained how his lack of intimacy, lack of communication, lack of listening to me explain what I wanted/needed from the relationship – just lackness, bothered me and I couldn’t be in such a hostile environment and THE DEPRESSION WAS TORTURE!!
So, here we are 2010, married for 2 yrs and back to him being so “comfortable” in this relationship he feels he doesn’t have to do anything anymore. While we were seperated I did meet someone who satisfied my sexual needs and OMG, it was what I was missing for so long. During the seperation I did keep communication open with my ex, but had to stop because we argued each time we spoke. He couldn’t understand what I was attempting to tell him as to why I left and kept telling me he didn’t make me feel this way or that. Eventually I ended up cutting communication with him altogether, giving him the opportunity to look at the past 10yrs and reflect. About 5mths after I had left we started talking again and eventually started to re-kindle things. Sex had been re-introduced and soon after we got back together. Being together for 10yrs did play a role and me leaving and giving him time to look back on what I was trying to tell him from the start helped. I fell in love again.
Recently, I provided him with information about having an open marriage so we both can get benefits that the other wasn’t proving – me the sexual satisfaction and for him I dont know because he see nothing wrong with our relationship. HE SHUT DOWN!!! He wouldn’t talk to me about the subject, simply ignored it totally. But . . . if I tell him now that I want to have sex, he comes running! It wasn’t a tactic to scare him because I was seriously thinking about sleeping with someone else for the satisfaction. I thought about leaving but felt I would only be leaving to get satisfaction from that other person and then my husband would get his act right and we would end up back together. So, it would be pointless to say “oh, well were seperated”: and that no excuse – you are still considered cheating either way. I LOVE my husband, I just need him to see what his “lack of” is doing to our marriage.

So, try proving him with information on an open marriage and see how he feels about that, but also keep in mind this is what you will be going through the entire time you are married – a sexless, unhealthy, depressed marriage. Can you deal with all these things for the next 40yrs? A sex therapist to see why he dosen’t/isn’t pleased with you and would prefer porn. Believe me the porn will tempt and possibly lead to him cheating – I’ve been there also, along with a couple of friends I’ve asked about this subject. This information has been from life experiences from both myself and a few friends. I hope this helps. Good luck.

]]> By: amy http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/2009/03/how-to-save-a-sexless-marriage-bring-back-the-passion/comment-page-1/#comment-740 amy Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:37:22 +0000 http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/?p=699#comment-740 certainly think I qualify as being in a sexless marriage, its been about 20 years now. Were in our 60s since the last time and on and off for the other 23 years. We re both at fault, I have a big tendency to be in control of everything. It all has to happen on my terms. I don't let my husband just go out, he really has no real freinds.. I tell him all the time to stay away from other women. And he on the other had has said I just don't want sex with me. I was hurt!! Also he was not interested anymore, sex has no excitment, meaning, thrill what ever you call it. Now he has high blood pressure, cholesterol, sleep issues, ulcers,slight depression and he takes pills for all that and his sex desire is gone. Hes been to doc and tryed viagra passed out on low dosage, pump but nothing works. Our sex life is gone forever. Theres no hope at all. certainly think I qualify as being in a sexless marriage, its been about 20 years now. Were in
our 60s since the last time and on and off for the other 23 years.
We re both at fault, I have a big tendency to be in control of everything. It all has to happen on my terms. I don’t let my husband just go out, he really has no real freinds.. I tell him all the time to stay away from other women.
And he on the other had has said I just don’t want sex with me. I was hurt!! Also he was not interested anymore, sex has no excitment, meaning, thrill what ever you call it. Now he has high blood pressure, cholesterol, sleep issues, ulcers,slight depression and he takes pills for all that and his sex desire is gone. Hes been to doc and tryed viagra passed out on low dosage, pump but nothing works. Our sex life is gone forever. Theres no hope at all.

]]> By: c .marc http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/2009/03/how-to-save-a-sexless-marriage-bring-back-the-passion/comment-page-1/#comment-415 c .marc Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:06:02 +0000 http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/?p=699#comment-415 well, I been in sexless marige for 7 month, star the divorce after 23 years. I been faithfull all this time. my wife make me clear that she do not want, love me anymore back in march 2009. that she only want is to way until our dauther graduated fom high school. well, about 2 weeks I star to goin out with an ex girfriend that my wife hate. Now she said how can I do that to her. Well is to late for her I been waiting for 7 months, she even do not want me to touch her for all thes months. I happy and feel great. Sorry for her. if you stop having sex with your husband be sure you are ready to lose him, do not use sex as a weapon. well, I been in sexless marige for 7 month, star the divorce after 23 years. I been faithfull all this time. my wife make me clear that she do not want, love me anymore back in march 2009. that she only want is to way until our dauther graduated fom high school. well, about 2 weeks I star to goin out with an ex girfriend that my wife hate. Now she said how can I do that to her. Well is to late for her I been waiting for 7 months, she even do not want me to touch her for all thes months. I happy and feel great. Sorry for her. if you stop having sex with your husband be sure you are ready to lose him, do not use sex as a weapon.

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