If you have started to live together… So, you have decided to live together. The main thing – instead of word “I” has appeared word “We” now. And here it occurs that both of you are absolutely not ready to this …
According to psychologists, 99 % of couples make absolutely same error in the first days and months of joint life. And receive, accordingly, the same result. How is to bypass these reefs of initial stage of joint life?
Don’t hope that it will be possible to avoid complexities. Alas, nobody can this. To date and to live together are different categories of relations. It is impossible to foresee in advance what kind of man will be in life, even if he is ideal on date. Any couple should pass fitting-in stage, even in that case, when it seems to you that you perfectly know and passionately love each other.
Don’t expect that everything will be as you imagined to yourself.
Two adult persons, decided to live together, come with the own way of life and representations how and when to make something correctly.
Concern your new life as the researcher: observe and do conclusions. Already in couple of months you learn reactions of each other better and define under what scenario will be built your relations.
Learn to talk about problems.
If you feel uncertainly or something torments you – tell about it. Don’t doubt – your partner has own complete set of the most different serious both ridiculous fears, and some of them you are able to dispel.
The silliest that it is possible to make here – to finish thinking for him and to think out explanations to his acts.
Don’t forget about distance.
Whatever was your love, remember the main thing: discuss the general, but save the personal. Each of you still has antecedent, job, friends, hobbies and habits. Also it doesn’t mean at all that saving them, you deceit the partner! It means that you just save yourself as the personality.
Remember responsibility.
Joint life is not so simple relations, but also very responsible – for each other, for the future children, for the house. So, in any conflict situations it is always necessary to remember not only about yourself.
Don’t try to alter each other.
It is impossible to alter the adult person. It is axiom. The result is always pitiable. Certainly, there are no people without lacks. But the ideal person for joint life is the person with lacks, which you can accept.
Decide financial problems together.
Economic independence and common budget is very important into joint life! You should discuss at once, if you are going to have common or separate budget, not to have problems with this in future.
Agree about life.
Certainly, you will not agree about everything in advance, but it is necessary to discuss principle questions.
Discuss problem of children.
Starting to live together, find out, whether you plan to have the child, if yes, how fast. Also what you will do in the case of not planned pregnancy.
Love each other and solve your problems together.
It is almost impossible to dodge the cases when you have to face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest problem here is that people think too seriously about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole situation in another way. It is not about how to get your ex back, really. It is about how to make it interesting again.