Today, there is something I like to talk about that is holding a lot of guys back from bettering their dating life. There are a lot of guys I know who aren’t good with women, and they limit themselves from meeting women saying, “I need to build an attractive identity first before I can start meeting women.”
For me, I don’t just limit myself to one identity but have multi-identities I go by that different women would stereotype as attractive by my fashion and my hobbies and interests, but I still need to have strong “sociability” to back it up and still have to do the work to get the girl.
Sociability is your competence, skills, and mojos used in social interactions. Be honest with yourself, “Do you honestly think just having a strong identity is going to automatically make you good with women Having that strong identity is a label, which consciously makes you act in a way to live up to that identity’s role, but that doesn’t mean you will perform that role efficiently.
Just because you have the title of a doctor, doesn’t necessary signify you are an effective doctor. In reality, it works in reverse. You were given the title of a doctor because you went through school and devoted insurmountable hours learning how to be a doctor until you became really good at it.
It is actually the other way around. Once you have the identity doesn’t make you good at something. Working to develop your skills and competence, makes you good at something, and that identity will eventually fall into place. If you were just had an identity without being good at living up to that identity, it will be contrived and people will see that.
The excuse of telling yourself that I only need to have a strong identity, then I can start deserving and be good with women is counter-productive. Let go and let yourself get the girl. What you really need is to start taking action and develop the skills, instead of waiting to claim that identity or for it to just accidentally fall into your lap. That is why you have to have the skills under your belt to substantiate that identity…then you will congruently communicate that to the girls you’re trying to attract.
That is how having your attractive identity will effortlessly get the girl.