Friend Zoned

Can women and men just be friends? Or will there always be a friend Zone, I do believe the answer to that matter is determined by the two people involved. Generally, if a man attempts to be friends with a woman, more then likely he is looking for more. A few women know this and take advantage of the “hopeful” man to get whatever they can from him.

I recall having coffee with a lady that I was once interested in a few years ago, she was telling me how a few male friends of hers that live across the country often fly in town and stay with her. She claimed there was never any sexual contact between her and any of these guys. I tried to illustrate to her that if she were in a relationship, this situation could be disrespectful to her boyfriend. She did not recognize how. She felt as if it was the exact same as having her girlfriends come in from out of town to stay with her. I let her know, that if not most of her male friends, a number of of them want more from her because if she wasn’t eye-catching, they would not even come around at all. There are some exceptions, for instance, if they were all gay or if they were mature and evolved, but that is not to be expected.

There was a time in my life when I felt like being in the friend Zone with a woman was a waste of time, unless we were having sex. As I began to mature and evolve I began to realize that it is rare to discover an individual, whether male or female to connect with on a friendship level. I’ve learned to let go of having expectations of how a relationship will progress when dating women. I just flow and let it evolve into whatever is meant to be. If a relationship develops, so be it, if it doesn’t, it isn’t the end of the world and I may have just made a new friend.

Often times, the friendship can become a romantic relationship. I used to be friends with my ex-girlfriend for 3 years before we became romantically involved. The romantic relationship may have only lasted for some months, but we are still friends and also have a strong bond to this day.

The point that I’m trying to make is that you might want to try being open to a friendship regardless of the gender, race or religion. Our programmed pre-conceived notions of who we could be friends with and why, could deny us a extraordinary connection with someone that can help us grow and evolve. I am open to making new friends, are you? For anyone who is, welcome to my friend Zone.

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