Should you “just be yourself” when attracting women?
I get a lot of questions from people asking about…”Why do I have to go through all of this?”
“Why not just be yourself?” Ah, yeah, we have all heard that advice since the beginning of self-help. “Just be yourself and you will get the girl!” Now the problem I have with the advice of “just be yourself” is this…
If you tell somebody who is dyslexic struggling to learn how to read to just be himself and believe, although this is great inspirational ignition, it doesn’t change the fact that he is dyslexic, and he would be motivated but not knowing how to go about it; however, give him the necessary tools and teach him how to utilize it, and that will be his own specific tree of knowledge.
Or if you tell a newbie technician to just be himself, do you thing he is automatically going to do a good job? No, he had to educate himself about it and have been through the necessary training first and get knowledge under his belt.
Now for a guy who is struggling with women throughout his life, and you tell him to still be himself? Then he will always be awful with woman, doing the same bad things over and over again that his former-self has been doing and not know what to do with a woman if one was given to him, unless one day he luckily finds “The One” who drops out of the sky on top of him like out of some magical destiny. But the chance of that is very slight, besides would you rather be in control of your dating destiny?
The exception is if you are already good with women then you can be yourself, but why then search for dating advice and go through all this unnecessary hassle; and you wouldn’t need any dating advice…because you would already know that.
And then later this statement changed to “being your best self”. What does that suppose to mean? How can you tell what is your best self? Do you just say to somebody to be “his best self” and magically transformed into his best self and automatically be getting all the girls his condoms clogged his toilet?
In reality, it doesn’t work like that. Being your best self, still insinuates you need to change yourself because your are not your “best self” YET.
So in the end, being yourself is counterproductive, if you are not already proficient at something. Keep in mind as the saying goes, “If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.”
Or Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
In improving your dating life with women is no different.
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