Do you have confidence in dating with women?
What is confidence…for you can’t see it? There has been a lot of misconceptions about confidence and that it is the almighty ingredient to getting girls.
Now here is the thing people won’t admit to you, confidence alone is just not enough.
“Acting confident” (“faking it til you make it” as we like to put it) is different than “truly being confident”.
“Faking it til you make it” is great and will help you be oblivious to a lot of the nervousness to take action and persevere, but true confidence comes from when you’re really proficient at something, unconscious competent, without having to think twice about it.
Once that level of unconscious competent is attained, confidence will naturally be there because you have the skill set and know you will be capable to do it well every time, contrasted to acting confident at what you are doing temporarily doesn’t translate to that same level of confidence [spin]later down the road because you don’t possess that “competence to back it up every time”.
Just like how you have been riding a bike all your life…
When you get on the bike, you are already confident because you know you can ride it again as usual; however that wasn’t the case when you started learning. You were hesitant because you didn’t know how to ride a bike and could had injured yourself, so much as if you faked your confidence, you would still have no clue of how to ride it.
Or basically for anything you do, like taking a standardized test, fixing a car, playing a new sport…do you reckon just having confidence is enough to allow you do each one of them well?
In actuality it is reverse, knowing “what-to-do” and “how-to-do-it” and having that understanding is going to build that competence and make you have that confidence.
When you are applying for a job, do you think they will just give you the job just because you are presenting yourself confidently without even having the necessary training to competently perform the job?
Of course not, because you may get fired the next day after working with a lack of skill and have wasted their time and resources. The factor they are more interested in is specialized skill, knowledge, experience, expertise…your competence.
Same thing for when you are out in social environment and have no clue what to do when talking to women or interacting with people; you may fake your confidence and be confident, but that doesn’t mean you really are.
Confidence doesn’t make you better, competence does, and confidence comes from that.
Here is my quote, I like for you to not forget:
“Competence comes from experience. Confidence comes from competence.”
– Gabriel Angelo
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