Some of the so-called “Pickup Artists” (or PUAs) out there who are good with women are not always the sort of people others would want to be friends and deal with.
What do I mean by this? Well, some of these folks exhibit a lot of anti-social behaviors, such as a lot of ego-clashing and constantly trying to dominate 1-up the other person every time to prove they are the most alpha dominant around in hope of trying to get a girl, like it is a war.
Here are 2 lions in the same territory, they will fight each other to the death and won’t work together to help each other out.
This can lead to a dark one-sided, unhealthy obsession, and you will wonder why your progress with women does not equate to your happiness.
I mean gosh, just chill, it’s NOT just about getting the girls. It’s about enjoying the environment of others and meeting great people you can add to your social circle who will always have your back, and as an added bonus, the girls will naturally appear into your life.
You can try to be the egotistic, self-professed most important guy in the on the face of the earth when you go out…but you know what? Nobody cares!
Everybody can try to prove they are the controlling one in the room and the most alpha, but truth be told, nobody really cares how predominant you act; in fact, they might even find it try hard. So why not instead abandon your ego and make the other person feel special and let them feel their worth, and they will love you for it and you will be cool in their eyes, unlike those who are trying to destroy that social vibe out in social gatherings where people just want to relax and have a good time?
You see, these aggressive behavior were once used to get things we wanted back in barbaric time in the past, but they are outdated in the modern, more civilized world. There are more boundaries that confine these barbaric behaviors (for instance the law, you can push it near the edge, but you can’t break it) so we have to be aware and socially savvy.
Yes, that is pretty much the first thing we are told in becoming a more attractive man with women is to be dominant, but what is dominance?
A lot of people lack the social calibration awareness to realize what they’re considered to t be dominant and confident actually come across as a control freak to being antagonistically aggressive.
A better way is to have what I called “the F.A. – Friendly Assertiveness“; you can still be dominant but under the radar, without making the other person on their guard and threatened.
I will dwell deeper into this in my next article, so not only will it help you whenever you are out approaching girls, but will also help you become a better leader!