The key steps in prevent a divorce could be the most valuable lessons that you may learn – not only can you learn to get your relationship back in check, but they will give you new skills to deal with every sticky situation in your life. The build up to divorce is often due to us becoming so caught up in our own lives, and taking marriage for granted, leading to communication breakdowns, and defensive behavior, much of which we are none the wiser until the bomb explodes.
A spouse being in a depressed state and not having the courage to seek the expert help they may need, and not being able to confide in there partner, can be another build up to divorce. Without realizing the pressure and emotional effects that it does have on the relationship, this can make the other person feel helpless and start going down also, they see no other alternative to be happy. This is an experience that I personally went threw, and making a decision like that was so hard! On the bright side it did end up giving my wife reason to seek…
Preventing your divorce is a decision that you can make! Although it s easier when both of you agree to try, you can begin the process on your own… It is a make up that requires these three D’s, dedication, determination, and discipline.
Here’s what you can do with those D’s to prevent your marriage…
1. If you are still living with your spouse that’s good, and if you aren’t that’s OK too. First of all you need to give them some space, and concentrate on yourself, compulsory thinking time you might say. Focus on all the reasons why your marriage is failing, something to remember here is that there is no blame! you can not have blame in a healthy marriage, there should be no such word? Only reasons, that is the only way to the truth of any problems, I highly suggest that you document your thoughts in this process.
2. Learn to accept the things that you cannot change, often when married we subconsciously attempt to change the personality of our spouse, OK there may be some bad habits that need some attention, but when you start on the character of the person they will retaliate. Loving each other for who we are is really quite simple, we just need to be able to communicate these things and accept.
3. Being married should be like soul mates, the best of best friends, taking interest in what your spouse likes and how they feel, is what that friendship is all about, it gives them a sense of respect and appreciation.
4. Marriage is like any working thing in life, it requires maintenance, a common fault is that we tend to forget to spend quality fun time together, whether its something as simple as taking a weekly walk in the park, or doing a skydive together. You and your spouse deserve to give each other some quality relationship time…
5. Help each other out around the house, especially us men! That old age belief that household work is for the woman is nonsense, marriage is a team. If you were or are in a repetitious job, day in, day out you would appreciate a break now and again?
6. Change! If there is something that you know is not really a positive part of your character then tell your self to stop that, and let your spouse know that you want to stop it, and ask for there gentle reminder when they notice!
Divorce is something that can tear your heart and family apart and has long term negative affects, I admire you for learning how you can prevent divorce, with an open mind I believe that anyone can save there marriage, with a little positive thinking, and learning what needs are needed to be happy.