The funny thing about online dating, is that most people seem to get into it with the idea that they will throw up a profile and suddenly they will start getting hits from members of the opposite sex right away and that they really don’t have to do much in order to get the attention that they want. Of course, that could not be more wrong. Just ask anyone who’s tried online dating with no success. Most of the time, they were just ‘waiting’ to have the right person contact them.
Setting up an online dating profile is in no way a guarantee that you are going to suddenly start attracting attention. And if you are a guy, then you need to really take that to heart. Dating sites online are just another place to meet people, that’s it. They are not some magic bullet solution to all your dating problems.
You still have to initiate conversation, you still have to use that conversation to build attraction, and you have to be able to transition from things being done online- to getting a real life meet up. So, no matter what… you still have to make the approach, lead the conversation, and close for something more. Sounds a lot like being in a bar or a club, right?
Well, in a sense, it is. It’s just that you don’t have to deal with all of the loud noise, the crowds, the drunken behaviors, etc. And because you get to read up a little bit on the person whose profile you are checking out, you get a better read on who that person is or at least who they want to be seen as.
So, here’s the big question. How do you get more attention to Your online dating profile?
Number One- Just like anywhere else… you need to stand out.
Do a search sometime on one of these sites and see how easy it is to blend into the crowd of pictures and not really stand out in any way. Most people end up looking pretty much the same or at least they try to put up photos that resemble whatever anyone else does. Problem with that approach is, it does nothing to help you stand out. Standing out is a must anytime that you are in a ‘crowd.’ It does not matter if it is a bar or a club or an online dating site.
Number Two- Your profile has to read like you are a fun guy, not a cool guy.
Obviously, you don’t want to look like a total dork, but too often guys place too much emphasis on trying to come across as being cool when coming across as being FUN will get you more ‘bang’ in terms of getting good attention online. You can scan through a dozen profiles of women on any dating site, and having fun will be a top priority for probably ten out of the twelve or maybe all twelve. Point is, while guys assume that being cool is the way to go, being fun will end up getting you more dates and more importantly the attention of multiple women.
Number Three- You have to be PROACVTIVE as a guy to get attention from women online.
Just like in any other situation, the guy is expected to make the move. Sure, if you have a great profile, come off looking like a fun guy to be with, you may get some women hitting you up. More often than not, though, it’s up to you to make the move and try and initiate some kind of conversation with a woman. Just try and stay away from the totally generic and ineffective things like, “You’re hot.” Those kinds of openers are not going to go over well with most women, and they don’t really leave much of an opening for an ongoing conversation.
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