After a long, rough divorce and numerous dates you’ve had, you finally met the man or woman of your dreams. No need for another date hookup from a friend or family member. It’s official, you both are thinking that you are ready to take things to a new level of commital and start spending more time together. There’s one problem that is constantly nagging the two of you.
You and your friend each are divorced and have kids from a prior marriage. Questions need to be answered in how your kids are going to react to this radical change in thier life situation? How will they respond to your partners other kids? It could be much smoother than you could possibly imagine.
A lot of what needs to be thought of in a blended family is the age and maturity of the kids. Kids are very tough. They are able to handle changes very easily. However, as kids get older and reach pubescence, they become much more set in their ways. They don’t accept changes willingly. The age of your children will be a ingredient in how they respond to your new mate.
Talk with your children in advance. Sit down and have a family discussion about the new situation.
Assure the children that you are not trying to bring in new people to replace them or you ex wife or husband.
Make sure that they understand that your love has not altered for them. Children can be very easily affected and believe that you no longer want them when your marriage with the ex has been put to a end. Signify to them the fact that this person is not moving in and that you’re just spending time with them. Do not ever tell your children that the person that you are in a new relationship with will not be moving in.
This is setting yourself up for big headaces in the future if you do decide to pursue a long-term relationship or even marriage. Do not lie to your children, be foward with them or in the future their could be ongoing bitterness and anger towards the partner and their kids.
Have a family introduction day. Take everyone out together somewhere entertaining. This provides a chance for everyone to get to know each other on neutral territory.
You will not be invading either family’s home space and this way one side feels less threatened and the other side doesn’t feel creeped out being in some persons home. It also gives everyone a chance to get to know each other without any stress or constraints being put on them. Take things slow and give everyone plenty of time to get to know each other before putting them together for elonganted periods of time.
If you and your partner want time alone during this adjustment period, take it somewhere other thanthe home. Perhaps the kids could go to their other parents for the weekend. Maybe, you can both get a babysitter and go out together for a night on the town.
Family and trusted people are always a great options for your kids to spend a night. Avoid pushing the issue or forcing your children to accept this new relationship in a hurry. It will lead to a household that is full of displeasure. Give them plenty of time to get to know one another. In the end they might just start to like your mate kids enough to want to spend time with them on their own. Remember children ar much more likely to want to get to know new and intersting people if you let them do it on thier own.
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