All posts by The Relationship Guru

Emotional Roller Coaster

Emotional roller coaster
Lately I have been playing a very dangerous game with myself. I have been coming up with new ideas on how to make money. Real money, not the extra part time night job money, its not worth paying a sitter for money like that. And please don’t flame that remark, most women will understand that…

So I have posted ads, for modeling, massage, friendship. And I feel better that I am putting myself back out there and trying to make some money.

And then my email gets swamped.

And my phone rings off the hook.

And I read through the emails and listen to the messages and I ignore them all.

My boyfriend has okayed my decisions, maybe the financial crisis has finally gotten to him, or maybe he has given up on me staying out of the industry. I wouldnt blame him, how many times can I possibly expect him to explain the rational choices and still have me refute and lean toward escorting?

I guess that is why I havent tried answering the responses for massages. Maybe I dont trust myself not to be pulled back in once I am out alone with another man. I dont think I would, I know my response would be- no, nothing sexual, but I know how persistent they can be, and how financially screwed I am right now, and it would be easy to cave and do something I would regret just to make him shut up or make some easy money. And then I would have crossed the line and I would jump right back out there.

I cant make myself go back out. Not yet. Im not sure what I am waiting for, or what will make me take the step back across that line, but I have set myself up to do it. No matter what the ads read, the men assume one thing. I could state in an ad that I have no vagina and no hands, and my mouth is sealed shut, and I believe they would still ask for something sexual to be done. How? I dont think they care, but if you are pretty and have an ad, they will ask for it.

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But I keep posting ads, and setting myself up. I cant tell if I am working my way in or just going completely nuts. I feel like a drug addict but without any of the perks.
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Online Dating Advice

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Online Strategies
Honestly, I’ve seen it all. I’ve been there and done that. And generally speaking, I’m not a big fan of playing Pick Up Artist (PUA) in the online world. The competition online is fierce however, I do believe that if there is a platform for PUA anywhere, it needs to be utilized at its maximum potential.

I have noticed that with online dating, women can receive over a thousand mails a day and double that up on Instant Messaging. The best thing about meeting women online is the ability to set your mind in the right direction. The internet as a dating medium can help you get the ideal girl of any genre provided you play it properly. There are a couple of techniques and tips that I have used to yield positive results in my own online meandering experiences. I would like to share few of them with you.

Unique Profile
I’d always recommend to put up pictures that A. look good of you B. show you have female friends in your life or doing fun things. The main aim here is to stand out from the rest. Remember to do something unique with the profile picture allowing women to want to see more. When I put up my first profile I laid the following lines on my status bar. “Hi, my name is Kingy and I am a complete jerk. I love to be pampered with and don’t want to waste my time on crap. I’d rather be with you all day and get flowers from you every morning. I love my tea in bed too. If you want me contact me, otherwise let it go. Whatever, I’m a Jerk as it is.” As you can see, I attempted to make it funny and stand out. PS: the main point here is to stand out and not really be a jerk. I got a ton of replies form women that met my criteria not just because it was high value but because my profile was different.

Describe Your Picture
Don’t write stuff that will make you sound bad. I’ve seen people write stuff like I’m a selfish prick. That spells out a clear FAIL. Include humor wherever and whenever you can. Try to make a story. Women love stories and they just can’t wait to read more. Try to reverse the dating frame of mind. Do this tactfully and show that you have standards rather than wanting to meet just any woman. Write down things in such a way proving to them that you are different compared to any other guy. I will leave this up to your own imagination. Just don’t get varied away. Show yourself busy when you get a reply. Say that you get a great number of replies and what makes her different. Try to turn the tables and keep the ball in your court. This is a great tactic.

Play a Game
Create an online interaction. Again remember, variety is the spice of things to follow. Keep a pointing system for you and the girl you desire to interact with. Reward each other points for what you like and take away points for what you don’t like. This is not exactly a criterion technique but it is just a way for you and her to interact on a more personal level. I personally use the point system but you can find or develop your own game that makes you tick.

Initiate Chatting.
Perhaps the respondent will shy away and not want to talk to you. This happens a lot in online dating. This is another reason I don’t endorse it. Women just don’t reply well. But your persistence in a calm and cool atmosphere will yield the result you want to see. Start the chat. Commence talking to her on a more direct basis. She is bound to feel intimidated but it’s your duty and responsibility as a man not to let that happen.

Send Her Your PUA Photo
Once the two of you get comfortable, send her your real photo. Get a nice image that amplifies your personality. Try to send images with friends. Sending her alone pictures of yourself may give her the impression of a marriage bureau. Let’s avoid those complications.

Get Her Photo
When you get her photo, try to add some humor. If I were you, I would take the image and edit it in such a way that it makes her chin look long. Send it back to her and ask her “Why the long face?” Try to keep a decent sense of humor and DO NOT get carried away. If you are thinking of something else, remember it is illegal to do it.

Get the Phone Number
Insist of getting her phone number. Be tactful as you do not want to blow this off now. Don’t use crappy lines such as “Can I have your number” or “Your telephone number?” Try to involve a reason behind getting her number. Try to use “Is there a number I can reach you at?” It works for me and I bet it can work for you too.

Make the Call
Talk to her when you feel like talking. Texting is Ok. But then again I do not endorse it as it cannot convey emotions well. If you’re a good content writer, no problem, go ahead. Don’t show off desperation as this can have a negative effect on her impression of you. Play it cool and everything will fall into place.

Finally when the day to meet her arises, don’t be a jerk. I’m sure you’re a nice guy somewhere down there. Show her that and don’t overdo it. All the best!

Robert King (Kingy)

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Will She Give Me A Second Chance?

Today’s article on “Will She Give Me a Second Chance?” brought to you by How To Get Back Wife.

“Will she give me a second chance?” might be what you are asking yourself after a break-up that has possibly left you feeling lonely, depressed, angry or confused. You may even feel a sense of panic as you battle to come to terms with the fact that she might never be a part of your life again. This is not what you planned.

If you want to get her back, if you want to turn the clock back and have the same relationship you had before you will need to respond in a way that will make her want you back. She will give you a second chance but only if it is one her terms. Trying to pressure her into taking you back will not work. Desperate attempts by you to make contact may even aggravate the situation.

Don’t spend time stalking her. She needs space to think and endless messages from you will simply confirm that her decision was the right one. I hate to say it but you have to think like a woman. Put yourself in her shoes. How would she expect you to react? Remember she has broken up with you or you broke up with her and now want to make amends. Either way she’s hurting. She probably expects you to try and call but what if you didn’t? What if you gave her the space she needs to work things out? How would she react?

Doing the opposite of what she is expecting could throw her off balance. What if she thought you would simply start going out with someone else and you didn’t? Word would soon get to her that you were still ‘single’. How would she react? As angry, hurt and confused as you are never say anything bad about her, not even to your best friend because that will get back to her. Say nice things such as you are glad that she is happy because that is what you truly want for her. Someone will tell her.

Try doing something nobody ever does these days. Instead of flowers send her a handwritten note thanking her for what she has done for you and tell her you’d like to have a coffee sometime to thank her personally. If you use this approach make sure you keep your note positive and upbeat, don’t mention your relationship and don’t mention what it is you want to thank her for – you’ll do that over coffee. Just make sure you have something to thank her for when the time comes. It can be anything small. In the letter arrange to meet her at a particular coffee shop over a lunch break. Being a lunch break she knows it can’t go beyond that. Make sure the coffee shop is a neutral one that you’ve never been to with her before. Tell her you’ll be there on Tuesday at 12.30 and hope to see her. If she doesn’t make it (and she probably won’t) don’t panic. Send her a note four or five days later saying you’re sorry she couldn’t make it because you really would have liked to thank her personally.

Keep her interest up without being pushy or demanding. Carry on as if nothing had happened and continue to give her space. You will need space too and you can spend this time reflecting on what has happened.

Put yourself in her shoes. How do you think she would react if you behaved as outlined above? Would it not make her wonder? Make her guess what you are up to?

Whilst you are sitting at home still asking that question “will she give me a second chance?” she’ll be sitting at the phone convincing herself you will call. Whoever breaks the silence loses. Be strong and don’t give up. When she does call (and she will) just listen to her and do not mention meeting for coffee again. Let her suggest it as this is the real reason for her call. If she asks to meet on the weekend suggest that may not be a good idea – you don’t have to give a reason but if she asks you will be out of town or busy.

Make it a valid reason and not something she may dislike. If you tell her you are going to watch the football that is sending the wrong message. Better to say you have arranged to spend the weekend with your parents – that’s a much nicer message and she’ll probably feel a little left out.

Make another offer to meet her during a lunch break. Keep your phone call positive and neutral and when you meet for that coffee don’t linger too long, forty minutes is the absolute maximum. Once you have had the initial connection take it slowly and let things happen naturally and at her pace.

Start romancing her all over again. This time you have the advantage of knowing her likes and dislikes. Use that to your benefit. “Will she give me a second chance?” you asked. Well I think you can see that she will if you act with understanding and empathy. She’s the one hurting and you need to heal that wound. It’s entirely up to you.

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Over 50 Dating Advice – The Most Important Online Dating Tips For Those Over 50

Editorial. Here is a pretty cool dating advice article for over 50’s written by Tim Phelan. If you’ve been considering joining the world of online dating, give this a read. Enjoy!

When using online dating services there are many important tips to consider in finding a good match. The best way to find a good match is to attract as many potential prospects as possible. There is one way to do this that is the most important and effective way.

Whether people want to admit it or not, what a person looks like remains the top reason for someone to consider them for a mate. It may seem shallow but is just the honest truth. With this in mind having quality, effective and interesting profile photos is a must to get the most out of dating, especially for those over 50 dating online.

Here is some advice when choosing photos for your profile:

1. Choose recent photos. You want to be honest and let people know what you look like now. If you do meet them, they will figure out that the photos are not recent and that will not be a good positive start to a relationship. If you really like a photo that is not recent, make sure you make a note about the date next to the photo. In fact, putting a date on all photos, whether recent or not is a good idea.

2. Include a closeup of your face in at least one of your photos. Having a closeup will show up better in search results and also will be an opportunity to let some of your character show through in your profile. Some dating sites require at least one photo to be a closeup.

3. Do not include a photo which has an ex in it even if you cut out or black out the ex. This is not a way for someone to see you right off the bat even if you are convinced you look great in the photo.

4. Have as many photos as are allowed on the site along as each one is a quality picture. Show yourself doing things you are interested in if possible.

5. If you do not have any good photos have some new ones made by a friend. A friend taking your photo usually will look better that one of the photos taken by yourself. It only takes a few minutes and the friend can even help you choose the best ones.

Basically, you just want to have the best photos possible that show you as you are. Then, if you belong to a large enough site, you will have the best opportunity to be seen by those attracted to you.

Tim Phelan is the owner of Over50Match.com which specializes in Over 50 Dating.

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Get The Courage To Break Away From A Sadistic Marriage

Prettiness and accomplishments don?t exempt women to the rough treatment of marital aggression. And, fright and blame commonly hush the gutwrenching shriek of its pain. We understand it?s hard to think of yourself as victim to these terrible deed. And, like you, the feeble victims didn?t imagine it moreover. Take for instance Jane Rye, a physical therapist who underwent from the agony of household cruelty. Like any other new bride, she was looking forward to and banking on a enjoyable marital life. Getting beaten up by her partner was the utmost from her mind, but a year into the marriage, that was exactly what happened. She continued to tolerate the brunt of an extremely aggressive marriage-everything for love. ?Our relationship was like magic, but with no ending.? she remembers, teary eyed. ?My husband would abuse me physically. He would spank me. He would always threaten me and say, ?Don?t try my patience.? And Rye would then diligently hide her bump with concealer and go to occupation – acting as if nothing appaling and life threatening had happened to her.

The United Nations Populations Fund declares this squalid truth: One in three women will undergo domestic life. In the US only, a women gets hit every nine seconds. But though cases had been accounted, more and more victims continue to be silent about their provoked circumstances because they are simply fearful. There is an issue of distress. And when you?re been slapped by the man you love, you become without sensation. There?s always confidentiality concern. There?s always a message from the attackers: ?Don?t tell anyone.?

After all the efforts to safeguard women?s civil liberties and self-respect, why do today?s iron-willed femmes put up with the hostility? It?s community acceptance that makes family brutality prosper. We are taught to allow abuse with validations like ?She asked for it? or ?Maybe she?s a nagger? or ?Maybe, she is not a good wife.? Prompted by this social acceptance, women who fall victim to dreadful acts of cruelty therefore tend to look inward, blaming themselves for the wonds they endure. It?s not odd that they tell themselves that the emotional or physical bruises are just ?learning experiences? or that their Bad Boy track record is the consequence of a dreadful karma. Add this self-blame to the belief that ?love conquers all? and the circumstances goes out of control. This misguided prespective direct victims to tolerate much more than they should.

But, there?ll come a moment when victims can?t and won?t submit to this depair any longer. With some luck and heaps of optimism, this apocalyptic moment will come sooner rather than later. So, as a reminder: there is an exit; you can rescue yourself. Leaning on affirmative influences and seeking legal aid for backing and guidance can alleviate the stress and agony caused by a destructive and hurtful marriage. Do what?s appropriate, speak up, speak out and ditch the cruelty. If you?re in Canada and in the hunt for cheap divorce, visit http://www.divorceplease.ca ? Divorce Toronto (Toronto Divorce).

Date Online Together With Video E-mail And Video Chat

It’s common knowledge that the world has become a smaller place with the advent of the internet. In fact, with the telephone, one could only talk to a person far away; however, with video communication, one can both see and talk to a loved one living far away.

To the best of our knowledge, with the various video communication media available like video email and video chat, there is a lower chance of any misunderstandings occurring here than when one communicates through the telephone. It will be useful for you to discover that now you can not only communicate with your loved ones, but those singles out there can also make and get to know partners through the numerous dating websites found on the internet. As far as this issue is concerned, this form of socializing is one of the best ways a person too busy with their career to find a partner, possibly even a life partner.

One of the primal advices for you to know is that when looking for a partner on the internet, you usually meet the person with similar interests as all your basic information has to be given to the dating service. So far as we know, this is the greatest result of internet dating; instead of getting hooked on someone because of love at first sight, with internet dating, you get to learn about the temperaments and nature of the person before actually meeting. Undoubtedly , with internet dating, there is no need of waiting for one to make the first move. In addition, there is no nervousness to hide and you can seem cool and collected to your partner, no matter how nervous you may actually be! You should know that it is very important that you make honest information about yourself to the online dating site so that you will get the perfect match for you. In fact, inaccurate information only leads to an inaccurate match!

It is obvious that when you take a closer look at this issue, once you find your partner through the internet, it is important for you to meet each other. It is very important to take into account that there have been occasions where on meeting; you find that this is not the person you had envisioned through online dating. In addition, it should be also added that loving someone when dating is rather simple as ABC; however to become a serious couple, you have to have a serious love relationship that may prove to be an uphill task. Don?t forget to make sure that you are compatible with the person you date; having the same taste of food and pets do not promise a long-term love relationship.

There is also a need to point out that you have to have the capacity of forgiving each other for certain mistakes while also have your say on some manners you are not happy with. So you have to basically ask the right questions at the right time to get to know each other better. We have every reason to believe that it is very important that you remain honest, understanding and committed to your partner during the span of your relationship. In addition, it should be also added that both of you have the same rights of giving and accepting opinions about your relationship!

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