3 Ways to Stop a Divorce

While many people will give you various advice on ways to stop a divorce there is a good way to test if the advice is any good. Does this advice help in the long term or short term? Does this advice come from a base of love and compassion of trickery and deceit? These are the factors that you can use to filter the real solutions from the chaff.

Why people offer advice that is short term or based on deception may be because it has worked for them by luck or that they do not really understand the base reasons for a successful happy marriage and only look at ways to stop breaking apart rather than reasons to stay together which may sound like the same thing but are a world apart. You see stopping a divorce is a short term solution but it the first thing people look for, building a marriage for the long term is harder but yields better results of course. Too many look for ways to stop a marriage and promise themselves they will improve their marriage for the long term once the immediate threat to stability is over but in doing so they either forget to follow through or they damage their chance in their actions to stop the divorce with trickery. So while the title to this article is about ways to stop a divorce they are geared to help with longer term relationships issues to stop it happening again

  • Act, Don’t Talk – How often have you said that everything will be fine, that you can change, that things will get better. How often do you think your partner believes you, how often have you said it before with no results? Words in a time of crisis can feel hollow no matter how heartfelt. The more it sounds like an excuse the more this kind of reasoning will make matters worse. Actions speak louder than words and show true love and commitment. Don’t say, just DO!
  • Do Not Blackmail – One problem that is easy to fall into is using emotional blackmail to get a result, this may get a short term result but will ultimately fail. Using children as a weapon is often used and simply breeds resentment for example. Another case of emotional blackmail is something we do accidentally using the words “but I love you.” nothing sounds as bad as this in a heated argument not because it is a lie as you genuinely mean it but because it can be seen as a way to bypass a real issue or as a way to hit them were they are vulnerable making them either give in or to reject that love. An ultimatum which in a heated argument is a terrible idea!
  • Lose The Ego – Most divorces start from arguments, yelling matches that are crude ways of airing frustrations in a desperate attempt to find a solution to a deeper problem that your egos may be hiding from your partner. When you marry someone you are suppose to open up to them your heart and soul and put aside your ego which is used to shield you against the harshness of the world but can only inhibit love and its problems in a relationship. Instead you must learn to put aside your defenses and your counter arguments, let your guard down and do not fight back. This may hurt but only by doing this can you defuse the anger and tension and you will find that if your partner loves you they will also not want to attack an unarmed opponent and will stop seeing you as an opponent but instead as their lover and partner. Of all the ways to stop a divorce this is the most important skill to true resolution and the growth of love.

So if you are prepared to be the one who saves your marriage even if you think your partner does not want it click below to find guides written by experts that can give you step by step advice on how to stop a divorce and save your marriage.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/

You Need To Catch Cheating Boyfriend Red Handed To Be Sure

Infidelity is an awful thing to happen in a relationship, it destroys one of the biggest factors that maintain a strong love which is trust. The only thing worse than finding out about a cheating boyfriend is not knowing and being eaten up by suspicion without any proof of the deed! IT is in these circumstances you need to know how to catch cheating boyfriend.

Instead of just asking is my boyfriend cheating on me you must take action and find proof of their guilt or innocence because the destruction of trust that comes from cheating boyfriends can also destroy your trust if it is NOT true because your doubt and anxiety has already destroyed your trust in him.

So instead of wondering is he cheating you must look for signs of a cheating boyfriend and follow those signs to their source and find concrete proof that they are being unfaithful to you. Some signs of a cheating boyfriend are:

  • Late working hours all of a sudden
  • Deletes all his emails and SMS messages with alarming regularity
  • Keeps his computer spotless (deletes all webpage histories etc)
  • Unusual phone activity such as taking calls out of your earshot or you answer the phone only to have the other end hang up
  • Lying, it could be big whoppers or just a steady stream of little lies you have uncovered
  • and many more …

Every affair is different and different signs will crop up but if you are alert for them you can pick them up and analyze them to discover if they can actually be proof of unfaithfulness because some of these things can be explained with innocent activities like trying to surprise you with a party or is planning a big gift and so on. It is because of this that you must keep a cool head and work on finding evidence because confronting your boyfriend without this is the number one mistake that girls make when dealing with suspicion and it nearly always backfires because it can be denied and then used as emotional blackmail back against you!

So if you want to catch cheating boyfriends and be sure of their infidelity you must be smart and get the evidence you need to actually have a plan of action if they are cheating or purge the suspicion if you find evidence that their cheating signs are actually something else!

Click below for expert help on how you can do this using methods real detectives use.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/how-to-catch-a-cheat-e-book-reviews/

Help Me Save My Marriage!

I often wonder with the frightening statistics of divorce just how many other marriages are saved from the brink to not become part of that statistic. To me this says that the vast majority of marriages in this age suffer from problems that could lead to divorce making only a very small portion of people in happy no problem relationships and the rest screaming help me save my marriage!

As frightening as this is I do believe that this simply means that everyone has similar problems and with this wealth of experience and lessons learned we can all learn how to stop divorces from happening and most importantly building a marriage and relationship than can endure these rifts, survive and grow stronger as a result. To do this, the entire way you approach a failing marriage must be consistent and adhere to a core value of love and as sappy as that sounds in a very material world I believe you can overcome any problem as long as the enhancement and growth of love between the two people is the real objective.

Often we get so bogged down in the petty things in life that it overtakes our thinking and can often be a way to avoid the real issues because they are hard to think about and articulate to our partners. Money is one of the biggest issues that most married couples fight about for instance but many successful marriages survive money problems when both people pull together and they overcome it. Why does it drive a wedge between so many couples? In my opinion it is because they fight about the surface problems and never get to the real issues which can often be very primal to do with security, social hierarchy and underneath it all … love. If a woman loves her husband from her heart from his kindness and compassion even if he is not rich the relationship will survive but the only way to get to that ideal loving relationship is communication.

As often as this word is bandied around it is often misunderstood (much like the word love!). Couples often think they communicate but there are a few real killers of communication that can inhibit your marriage:

Ego
Between a husband and wife there should be no bravado and ego, your ego is often a shield between you and the world to protect your vulnerabilities but your partner needs to be the one to see your soul free of ego and posturing. If you cannot put aside your ego you will never let the truth be known and your communications will be based on false assumptions and even lies. It also leads to the worst of all marital problems making people yell ‘help me save my marriage’ when they have the power to do it themselves with a simple change in attitude. Try not to win!

Keeping Score
If you really want the answer to ‘help me save my marriage’ then you need to make sure when an argument happens you can defuse the anger and tension. This means letting go of your ego and exposing yourself and your vulnerabilities, if your partner loves you they will not fire on an unarmed opponent. The best way to do this is to not make yourself opposing, while an argument is a discussion of problems they are often hindered because both sides refuse to “lose” and always defend themselves and fire back insults or accusations leading to a game of tit for tat and both sides start keeping score and looking for revenge or a way to win an argument which is often at that surface level not at the real problem too making it even more petty. The first step should be to abandon taking score and accept a few barbs because in the end they do not matter if you want to inject love back into the relationship rather than keep a grudge.

So if you are prepared to be the one who saves your marriage even if you think your partner does not want it click below to find step by step formulas written by experts that can help you overcome the difficulties and stop your divorce.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/stop-your-divorce-e-book-reviews/

How to Stop Your Divorce With Love

Love has been considered the greatest source of inspiration in the world and also the greatest source of despair and problems making it a polarized word in a language that references it constantly. If you are heading towards separation and are trying to work out how to stop your divorce these opposite ends of the spectrum of love play a terrible conflicting role in the decisions you make as love applies to your relationship as well as to all of those around you including yourself.

Confusing? Well so is love! When it comes down to it no tricks or complex strategies can even give you a long lasting, successful and happy marriage. The only way to achieve this is by making sure the commitment you both have to your relationship and marriage is fueled by love and nothing else.

With this in mind you can approach any conflict in your marriage with confidence as you will not be distracted by other petty worries. This does not mean you can dismiss the realities of being married however as most arguments are centered on the small things, the niggles of married life. To help you get to the point where love can take over and real communication that becomes resolutions to these niggles shines through here is the one important thing you must do to prevent further arguments.

LOSE!

Do not retaliate, do not defend yourself, do not use logic, do not try to find a solution immediately even. Lose the argument; let them win to prove that no one is keeping score anymore. Once you can defuse the situation the answer to how to stop your divorce will come with a communication that be based on love, that love then becomes commitment and that commitment breeds higher love but only when you are disarmed of ego and hateful thoughts.

If you are prepared to be the one who saves your marriage even if you think your partner does not want it click below to find guides that offer step by step solutions that can turn your impending divorce around and save your marriage.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/

How Can I Save My Marriage on My Own?

One of the biggest frustrations a person can face when looking down the barrel of the divorce gun is that only they seem to be trying to mend their marriage and solve the problems of the past while their spouse seems to be content to just let it get worse and worse or perhaps is taking actions to actively sabotage the relationship. Many men and women almost scream “how can I save my marriage!” when faced with these problems and unfortunately for the institution of marriage many give up at this point.

There is hope however for those who are determined to right the wrongs, stop a divorce, save their marriage an live happily ever after in love and matrimony. Sounds good huh, and if you are going to do this thing that is exactly what you need to aim for so do not give up, remember that marriage can be the greatest thing in the world when done right!

To do this first you must make sure you are approaching this with the right attitude as the wrong attitude even when you think it is correct can hamper or just destroy your efforts all together, here is a quick checklist.

  • Put your ego aside
  • Do not prolong arguments by fighting back
  • Do not use emotional blackmail
  • Try to make all your decisions based on love

Another checklist when trying asking how can I save my marriage is how you see and hear your partner.

  • Listen to the problems but understand the reason behind them
  • Let them vent and attack but as before do not fight back
  • See them as your lover, your partner not as your problematic wife or husband

If you are prepared to be the one who saves your marriage even if you think your partner does not want it click below to find information by professionals that you need to save your marriage from a divorce and mend the rift between you and your partner.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/

Stop Your Divorce, Save Your Marriage & Never Look Back!

Marriage can be seen in two ways; a bond that legally binds you to a person for better or worse OR a statement of love with a promise to keep it and nurture it till death does you part. While both are true to a degree which one of them sounds more fulfilling to you? To me the second sounds like the relationship I want to be in and the first just sounds like a bleak or business like agreement. I believe the key to stop your divorce, save your marriage and live happily ever after is to make a true choice to love rather than commitment.

Love is a hard thing to classify and many people even doubt it existence or claim it to just be an amalgamation of lust, hormones, chemicals and eventually security and comfort. The philosophical question may always rage but it is a moot point because however it is defined it can be seen to shape our lives and society beyond our understanding at times. It is from love that commitment flows not the other way around so think with love not vows and preconceptions.

With this in mind to stop your divorce, save your marriage and do it with love there are a few simple steps you can take to promote the transition from angry arguments to meaningful communication that can lead to actual long lasting resolutions.

Lose The Ego
Ego is a major problem when people who are in an argument whether you are married or just having an argument with a stranger your ego is the thing that makes you defend yourself as strongly as possible and refuses to admit it is wrong or if you are right refuses to take any slight against it. When you try to communicate but your ego steps in and redirects conversation to make you feel powerful, correct and secure you inflame what is already a tense and volatile situation. If you leave your ego at the door and just take a barbed comment or two without feeling the need to retaliate you can defuse the situation somewhat which allows communication to flow properly. If you leave your ego out then often so does your partner once they see that no one is keeping count of points scored.

Leave The Word Love Out
This may sound counter intuitive because I just said do this with love! Unfortunately the word love is a loaded thing with unpredictable results and the often used “Bu I Love You!” line may not be taken in the right context and may seem to your partner to be an excuse or an attempt to make them feel guilty which again inflames the situation making it hard to stop your divorce, save your marriage and be able to say those words, mean it and have it returned in kind. Actions speak louder than words and your actions in how you approach your communication can be your showing of love.

If you are prepared to be the one who saves your marriage even if you think your partner does not want it click below to find step by step information guides compiled by experts that can help you stop your divorce save your marriage and never look back!

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/

How to Prevent Divorce – You Can Save Your Marriage

Preventing a divorce can be a tricky thing to do as it is a journey fraught with dangers and navigating your way through troubled seas of arguments, hurt feelings, broken hearts and the countless small niggles of married life seems overwhelming to the point of desperation for many men and women. Finding out how to prevent divorce therefore becomes a confusing grey area where logic and solutions seem to mean nothing as raw emotions bring everything crashing down.

The trouble often is that the confusion becomes so great that we do throw up our arms metaphorically (and sometimes physically!) in defeat and either stop caring or revert to our baser instincts where fear and anger take a hold; this just makes matters worse. To make sense of this confusing minefield of marital distress we must first realize that we can make things simpler than they seem by focusing on the one central aspect of a marriage … Love.

If you keep the belief that you are still in love and that love is the driving force for your marriage then you can start to develop that same attitude in your partner even if it seems like they have no interest in it all. However, to do this you must first learn to defuse hostile situations so that the right environment can be found to actually communicate properly without tearing each others heads off. Here are a few tips to help to get to this situation.

Stop the Hostility
The first barrier is the hostility that develops with problematic marriages. Both people have hit a point where they will not back down as they feel hard done by and do not want to lose the argument to save their face and to prove a point that is probably not really the issue at hand. The problem is that everyone seems to be keeping score and wanting to be right, wanting to WIN which is a poisonous attitude in a relationship where you are suppose to be working together and understanding each other on a level of intimacy that only lovers can reach. If you can leave the ego at the door and learn that keeping score does not matter you may take some barbed comments but you will find your partner will not continue to attack if you do not attack back. Only when the hostility is gone will you be able to talk properly.

Uncover the Real Issue
Most arguments seem to revolve around small insignificant things or “niggles” such as household chores, minor money matters or small personal habits. You probably know that this is not the real reason or might be baffled as to why it is a problem but all of these niggles either have a kernel of truth to them or are a signal of some other larger marriage threatening problem.

For instance, a wife yells at her husband for neglecting his chores and children because he is going out with his friends too often. The husband feels he is a good father and while is not prompt with chores gets them done in an orderly fashion and yells back that he needs some time to himself too – Is this argument really about the children or chores however? While the wife might seem to be strong willed she might be feeling very threatened and insecure because of the time her husband spends away from the family. The husband may also feel suffocated by the home environment but cannot find a way to express this so blows off steam with his friends instead. Or there could be many other reasons but they are not the things being talked about! Once you calm an argument down however you have the ability to navigate your true feelings as painful as they might be to express when they are aired in the right atmosphere then you can find out how to prevent divorce for the right reasons and with the right decisions.

So if you are prepared to be the one who saves your marriage even if you think your partner does not want it click below to find more information on stopping divorce and mending your broken marriage.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/

Can You Save Marriage From Divorce?

We always seem to start off our marriages with high hopes and dreams, with romance and passion and a belief that nothing will ever drag us apart. This may be true for some till death do they part but for half of marriages today this is not the case and the worst starts to happen, you drift apart and you start desperately trying to find ways to save marriage from divorce.

The reasons for marital problems are many and varied from arguments about money, the changes in their lives from children, general work/life stress and often from problems in the bedroom as well. The list could go on forever though with mild differences from couple to couple but in the end all roads lead to separation and divorce if nothing is done to mend the growing rift which is one of the hardest parts of life if you ever have to experience it.

Research has shown however that not all hope is lost. Most couples who end up heading towards divorce have claimed that they still love their partner but either feels they cannot bring themselves to say so or they cannot live with them even though they do love them. Many have also stated that one of the primal reasons for a divorce apart from all the obvious things is that their love is not growing for their partner anymore so they feel something is wrong which leads to those terrible arguments. However the point is that in most cases love still remains and with this there is always a hope to save marriage from divorce.

With this in mind there are ways to save marriage from divorce by breaking down the barriers that have stifled this growth in love which at its core is all about communicating. This is not a new concept and many people already know this only to find when they try to communicate it does not work because they are not communicating with love but with logic, with words, with an attitude with an agenda.

When you stop talking and start communicating with love and understanding you can save marriage from divorce and unlock the potential fro growth of love that has been weighing down your marriage.

One immediate step you can take to ensure you are on the right path is to take control of your ego when you communicate and do not let your ego control you. When you want to respond and defend yourself with an accusation stop and let it slide as infuriating as that may be because if you defend yourself you simply inflame the situation further. Stop thinking in points scored and start thinking about compassion as sappy as it may seem and you can defuse a heated argument to a level where you are really communicating what you feel without ego or anger which goes a long way to save a marriage and stop divorce.

For more ways to stop an impending divorce even if you seem to be the only one trying, click below to find more information about online resource that can help you stop your divorce.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/stop-your-divorce-e-book-reviews/