Almost everyone will agree that communication is a major, if not the biggest key to a successful relationship, but if that’s so well known, then why don’t people just communicate and have happy, successful relationships? Because, there’s more to it than just communicating. You can try to communicate all day, but if you don’t know how to or have what it takes to be a good communicator, then your effort will be in vain and you may not even know why.
First, you need to know how to communicate with the person that you’re with. Everyone has their own way of communicating, not saying that there’s necessarily a specific right or wrong way to communicate, but most people just have their own way that they’ve developed over their lifetime. It works for them, and it’s hard to convince them that it needs to improve because it has worked for them over the years. What most people have to realize is that just because they can communicate well with certain people, doesn’t mean that they will communicate well with everyone else, because most people see things differently. That’s why teachers learn different modes of teaching. People intercept information in different ways.
That leads me to the second thing that most people need to learn if they want to be a good communicator. You must be an open-minded individual. If someone is willing to understand how you communicate, then you should be willing to understand how they communicate. Don’t assume that you just know based on previous relationships, and one of the worse things you can do is compare them to anyone else in your past. Just know that they’re a different person and they have to learn how to communicate with you just as much as you need to learn how to communicate with them. If you’re a stubborn person, and set in your ways, then you’re going to have a very difficult time trying to communicate with whoever you’re with because they’re going to feel as if all their words are being spoken in vain, and you’re going to confirm that feeling in every disagreement you have with them. Eventually, they’ll tire of the communication block and you’re relationship will whither because all relationships require communication.
Communication for a good relationship is like soil for a plant. Communication is necessary to initiate, nourish, and grow a healthy relationship. Through communication (verbal and non-verbal) we initiate relationships, build trust, build friendships, and most importantly we develop the basis of intimacy. Without these things, one could question if a good relationship exists at all. Personally, I believe that the most important thing to remember about communicating in your relationship, is that you should be understanding of how the other person feels, and where’ they’re coming from. They may not be the best at getting their point across and may be off the handle while trying to express themselves, but if you know that their intentions still mean well, and that you two still care about each other, and at the end of the day, you both want to stay together, make sure that’s the conclusion of any dialogue you have, especially disagreements.
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When life gets hard or busy and we are comfortable in a marriage we tend to forgot to compliment our partners on their actions because we become accustomed to it. In fact it can often be the case that after a while you get accustomed to all the good thing your spouse does that you see them as ‘normal’ and start wanting more effort and more good things to make you feel they are special and you are happy.
Newlyweds often cannot let go of each other as every moment they want to be close and intimate. Hugging, touching, kissing and caressing all build intimacy and happiness in closeness which can drop off the list of things to do as married life goes on.