Posts Tagged save my marriage

Find Out How To Save My Marriage From Breakdown

Jan 7

Posted by The Relationship Guru in Stop Divorce | No Comments

When you are fighting a lot that you do not know what you are even arguing about at times then you may want to figure out some way that you can get along so you can say that you can save my marriage. Whether you are just starting out as newlyweds or you have been married for a long time you will be subjected to moments in your marriage that will seem like you have been fighting forever.

Before you end your marriage you may perhaps want to try a few things that may bring you closer to each other. You were once in love with him and nothing should have changed that; no bills, no person, and no place, and no amount of money. You are still the same person that you were when you got married. Sometimes it is too hard to be yourself and you get caught up in what is bringing strain to your marriage.

The first place that you want to start is by getting therapy. It’s vital that you attempt to resolve a problem before you end your marriage. You owe it to yourself and everyone involved. You will never be happy until you know that you have tried everything. Therapy is a wonderful place to chat about what is bothering you. You may need to sit down and explain what is causing your disagreement with some one who is neutral.

Go away for the weekend. You want to treat yourself to a weekend retreat that will permit you two some time without any interruptions. Make a pledge with each other that you will not fight during the weekend hideaway. Take some pencil and paper so you can write down some ideas and reasons that you know of that will have an effect on the way you speak to each other.

Instead of shouting back when he shouts at you, try to walk away. This is sometimes one of the most difficult things you can do but you can do it. Be the better person and move away when he begins arguing. If he doesn’t stop fighting with you go into another room for a while. This will end a argument if there is no one to fight with. You may need to walk away several times in order to get over the madness and yelling but you can do it.

talk about what is causing all the arguing. As soon as you eliminate or get control on what started your arguing to begin with you will be able to work together to manage it. No matter what it is you need to manage it and not let it control you.

Find a pen and paper and begin writing down a number of things that you want to work on or that you feel are significant and what is essentially causing you to fight.

Take into account that a marriage is worth saving so don’t delay any more. Get together and find out what is causing all the problems. Your marriage will last a very long time if you work hard at saving it.

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How to Save a Dead Marriage – The Sex Issue

Mar 26

Posted by James Fargo in Articles, Divorce, Stop Divorce | No Comments

How to save a dead marriage can be a difficult thing and while not always the most important thing, the issue of sex makes a major impact on your marital health as many studies have concluded even bad marriages often stave off divorce if the sex is good. Good sex can also lead to better communication and feelings of love not just through the act of lovemaking but even on a biological and chemical level so this is not something to be seen as crude or simplistic.

Many people may feel that because of all the other problems in a marriage that sex is something to be put off and resentment and lack of commonality can lead to unsatisfying or lack of sexual pleasure. Then again other may be in a marriage that is happy and healthy otherwise but dead in the bedroom which may make you and your spouse more like roommates and friends even if there are children involved.

Whatever your case, if you are looking to revive a dead marriage then sexuality must not be ignored and relegated to a secondary issue. Entire books have been written on the subject of how to save a dead marriage through better sex but here I will list a simple version:

  • Do not be selfish - If you are harboring some resentment for your spouse and think that cutting off sex will help then you are actually speeding things closer to divorce. Sex is for mutual benefit for both partners and may open up avenues of communication that might help other problems. Using sex as a weapon in a marriage is a way to destroy it
  • Understand your spouse - If your spouse is the one who seems to be uninterested in sex then you may need to find out what is really bothering them. The reasons are usually emotional and not physical so trying to understand their point of view is essential.
  • Appearance - While you might think this is shallow your appearance is an important part of a good marriage and good sex. Try to find some way to exercise that both of you can do at the same time if weight is a problem so you are both involved and make sure that when you are in the mood for love that you take care of things like shaving, washing, and general grooming because familiarity and casualness kills romance.
  • Be romantic - This is often overlooked and often because many who have tried to spice things up with a married ‘date’ often forget what the real purpose of it is. Many people try this tactic in a selfish way thinking if I do this then I will get that .. do not approach it with this attitude! Remember when you first met, what made you fall in love, return to that feeling and make it all about your partner and do not expect a return to the way things were immediately, but if you do it without want of return you will find reciprocation happening very quickly.

There is a lot more to saving a dead marriage than just these things so if you want to find our more on how to stop your divorce and fix your marriage click below to find out more from experts in the field with years of experience.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/

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Help Me Save My Marriage!

Nov 18

Posted by James Fargo in Articles, Divorce, Stop Divorce | No Comments

I often wonder with the frightening statistics of divorce just how many other marriages are saved from the brink to not become part of that statistic. To me this says that the vast majority of marriages in this age suffer from problems that could lead to divorce making only a very small portion of people in happy no problem relationships and the rest screaming help me save my marriage!

As frightening as this is I do believe that this simply means that everyone has similar problems and with this wealth of experience and lessons learned we can all learn how to stop divorces from happening and most importantly building a marriage and relationship than can endure these rifts, survive and grow stronger as a result. To do this, the entire way you approach a failing marriage must be consistent and adhere to a core value of love and as sappy as that sounds in a very material world I believe you can overcome any problem as long as the enhancement and growth of love between the two people is the real objective.

Often we get so bogged down in the petty things in life that it overtakes our thinking and can often be a way to avoid the real issues because they are hard to think about and articulate to our partners. Money is one of the biggest issues that most married couples fight about for instance but many successful marriages survive money problems when both people pull together and they overcome it. Why does it drive a wedge between so many couples? In my opinion it is because they fight about the surface problems and never get to the real issues which can often be very primal to do with security, social hierarchy and underneath it all … love. If a woman loves her husband from her heart from his kindness and compassion even if he is not rich the relationship will survive but the only way to get to that ideal loving relationship is communication.

As often as this word is bandied around it is often misunderstood (much like the word love!). Couples often think they communicate but there are a few real killers of communication that can inhibit your marriage:

Ego
Between a husband and wife there should be no bravado and ego, your ego is often a shield between you and the world to protect your vulnerabilities but your partner needs to be the one to see your soul free of ego and posturing. If you cannot put aside your ego you will never let the truth be known and your communications will be based on false assumptions and even lies. It also leads to the worst of all marital problems making people yell ‘help me save my marriage’ when they have the power to do it themselves with a simple change in attitude. Try not to win!

Keeping Score
If you really want the answer to ‘help me save my marriage’ then you need to make sure when an argument happens you can defuse the anger and tension. This means letting go of your ego and exposing yourself and your vulnerabilities, if your partner loves you they will not fire on an unarmed opponent. The best way to do this is to not make yourself opposing, while an argument is a discussion of problems they are often hindered because both sides refuse to “lose” and always defend themselves and fire back insults or accusations leading to a game of tit for tat and both sides start keeping score and looking for revenge or a way to win an argument which is often at that surface level not at the real problem too making it even more petty. The first step should be to abandon taking score and accept a few barbs because in the end they do not matter if you want to inject love back into the relationship rather than keep a grudge.

So if you are prepared to be the one who saves your marriage even if you think your partner does not want it click below to find step by step formulas written by experts that can help you overcome the difficulties and stop your divorce.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/stop-your-divorce-e-book-reviews/

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