If you are attempting to save your marriage, you might be thinking if it is a certain behavior of your spouses, the mutual relations, various life circumstances and other clues that can warn you that the marriage eventually will end in divorce even thou you wish to save your marriage? Psychologists have been trying to indicate the potentially risks which could give newly-weds a warning of the possible causes that will end your marriage in divorce.
Some experts believe that all reasons for divorce lie in external circumstances and depend mainly on the so-called demographic factors . According to these studies, time of spouses acquaintance, previously suffered divorce, possession of children from previous marriages can be indications about the divorce. Hints about a possible divorce can be also hidden in the circumstances of marriage creation (e.g. whether the marriage was planned), whether due to being pregnant or even in the family budget management (e.g., family income, is it planned together or separately).
Other experts investigating the soundness of family relationships, are attempting to describe the personality type that more than the others tends to end up the marriage with a divorce. They are interested what characteristics divorced and married people possess. Several studies show that divorced men and women are more neurotic and also have more negative feelings which make it more challenging to save a marriage.
The third list of family specialists considers that all the reasons of divorce are inside our relationship. They believe that divorce is caused by one spouse who is not willing to sacrifice himself to save the marriage or give something in the benefit of family, or by a dissatisfaction with existing marriage.
Yet the article writers of other studies argue that divorce is attributable to large individual differences between spouses, especially when the qualifications and character traits don’t match the foundation they believe when, deciding to ponder marriage .
Admittedly, this method would be contrary to the belief that opposites attract and accentuate each other and may well live together. Having said that , according to the developer of analytical psychology C.G. Jung, the union of opposites is perfect only until they are forced to deal with the challenge to protect life from a variety of tricks and to adapt to multiple life terms. When such a need fades away, the wives and husbands have time to take a closer look at each other. The ones that were standing shoulder to shoulder and were a perfect complement to each other , they begin to seek one another understanding, and sees that they are going to never understand each other. Then the conflict begins between them were they start to loose all desire to save the marriage, in some cases cruel and full of mutual devaluation, because one spouse’s property values appear to be others refutation.
Psychologist Larry A. Kurdek observed hundreds of new couples for five years hoping to evaluate all possible causes of divorce. Within five years some pairs have split, so a psychologist could determine the risk of divorce in recently divorced families from the beginning and compare them with non-divorced families. After consistently examining families L.A. Kurdek concluded that divorce is always there for not one, but for several reasons. Some of them are already visible from the start of cohabitation, the others are revealed later while the variance of attitudes and dissatisfaction in marriage is growing. But, you can rid yourself of dissatisfaction and save your marriage from failure, starting Right now .
We have all heard the terrible statistics about marriage and divorce by now that half of all marriages end up badly with spouses splitting leaving behind them broken homes, broken hearts and broken dreams. How to stop your divorce is therefore a popular topic and one that may be much needed in this climate of unstable relationships. However the enormous amount of advice that can be found from professionals and from magazines and even sites like this can seem shallow, contradictory or confusing often because everyone situation is slightly different and sometimes this advice does not seem to be relevant to your marriage and how you can fix it.
This does not mean you should be assertive and bossy, in fact it is almost the opposite but still puts you in the position of taking the lead role in finding a way to save your marriage. By taking the lead you must be the one who steers the relationship through twists and turns of arguments and issues that will arise as you try to pinpoint and fix the problems that are causing your marriage to break apart.
It is an old adage but true, words can just be wind if not followed up by proof. This does not discount the important of communication of course, it just means that no matter how good you are at communication if you do not validate what you say no trust is regained or built.