Posts Tagged Stop Your Divorce

How to Save a Dead Marriage – The Sex Issue

Mar 26

Posted by James Fargo in Articles, Divorce, Stop Divorce | 1 Comment

How to save a dead marriage can be a difficult thing and while not always the most important thing, the issue of sex makes a major impact on your marital health as many studies have concluded even bad marriages often stave off divorce if the sex is good. Good sex can also lead to better communication and feelings of love not just through the act of lovemaking but even on a biological and chemical level so this is not something to be seen as crude or simplistic.

Many people may feel that because of all the other problems in a marriage that sex is something to be put off and resentment and lack of commonality can lead to unsatisfying or lack of sexual pleasure. Then again other may be in a marriage that is happy and healthy otherwise but dead in the bedroom which may make you and your spouse more like roommates and friends even if there are children involved.

Whatever your case, if you are looking to revive a dead marriage then sexuality must not be ignored and relegated to a secondary issue. Entire books have been written on the subject of how to save a dead marriage through better sex but here I will list a simple version:

  • Do not be selfish - If you are harboring some resentment for your spouse and think that cutting off sex will help then you are actually speeding things closer to divorce. Sex is for mutual benefit for both partners and may open up avenues of communication that might help other problems. Using sex as a weapon in a marriage is a way to destroy it
  • Understand your spouse - If your spouse is the one who seems to be uninterested in sex then you may need to find out what is really bothering them. The reasons are usually emotional and not physical so trying to understand their point of view is essential.
  • Appearance - While you might think this is shallow your appearance is an important part of a good marriage and good sex. Try to find some way to exercise that both of you can do at the same time if weight is a problem so you are both involved and make sure that when you are in the mood for love that you take care of things like shaving, washing, and general grooming because familiarity and casualness kills romance.
  • Be romantic - This is often overlooked and often because many who have tried to spice things up with a married ‘date’ often forget what the real purpose of it is. Many people try this tactic in a selfish way thinking if I do this then I will get that .. do not approach it with this attitude! Remember when you first met, what made you fall in love, return to that feeling and make it all about your partner and do not expect a return to the way things were immediately, but if you do it without want of return you will find reciprocation happening very quickly.

There is a lot more to saving a dead marriage than just these things so if you want to find our more on how to stop your divorce and fix your marriage click below to find out more from experts in the field with years of experience.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/

Tags: , , , , , , ,

How to Save a Dead Marriage – Dealing With Resentment

Mar 23

Posted by James Fargo in Articles, Divorce, Stop Divorce | No Comments

Many marriages do not survive the initial phase of marital bliss and whether it be a year or two later or ten years later you may find your self in a marriage dead and lifeless and on the brink of divorce. How to save a dead marriage is not impossible however, but it may seem that way after you have tried to coax some life out of it and failed. With the right approach, the right attitude and some knowledge of psychology and communication you can turn things around and return the spark of passion, love and commitment to your marriage if you can deal with the resentment issues that plague it.

Resentment

Often marriages struggle and falter over time as resentment over various issues sets in. In a marriage that seems dead it might not show in arguments and heated debate but instead in cold silence and petty grudges, in fact if there were more arguments then at least there would be some communication! This resentment in yourself or your partner may be caused by money issues, affairs, ambition, drug use or many other things that have happened and have not been resolved and no healthy loving marriage can continue without the specter of divorce if you resent your spouse or they resent you.

How to resolve these problems in your dead marriage are obviously the answer but how do you deal with such marital problems? Whole books have been written on this subject so for this article I will provide you with the simple version:

  • Communicate – Talk about the issues calmly and do not make it an argument, just get all the facts down and be aware of all the issues so they are in the open no matter how hard it might be.
  • Compromise - Nearly all resolutions require both sides to compromise on some issues. Make sure you have a plan on resolution that requires both of you to do something even if it is a very one sided problem.
  • Action – Do not just talk about it, take some action immediately! How to save a dead marriage hinges on you solving these problems not just making plan and saying things will change. You must move on this and fast!

If you want to know more on how to save your marriage even if it feels like you are the only one who wants to click below to find out exactly how you can do this to revive your relationship and stop a divorce.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce

Tags: , , , , , ,

Tips to Save a Marriage – Actions Speak Louder than Words

Mar 19

Posted by James Fargo in Articles, Divorce, Stop Divorce | 2 Comments

Of all the tips to save a marriage perhaps the most important is what you actually DO that will bring stability and love back into your marriage and rescue it from the clutches of a messy divorce. In this regard the old saying “Actions speak louder than words” is very true.

This is usually because if you are at the stage where divorce was imminent or at least a distinct possibility then by this stage talk is considered cheap. Here is a list you may have heard that does not work at this stage:

“I will change I swear I will!”
“I will sort that thing out, I give you my word.”
“That does not matter because …”

You may see that this all relies on your spouse’s assessment of your character which in times of troubled marriages may seem quite low especially if you have said any of these things before and it has not sorted the problems you both have in your marriage.

Not that you cannot say you will do these things but do not expect anything to change until you DO, do them, but here is how you must go about it. Do not make a big issue of whatever you are doing! If you hop up and down and make a big song and dance about one thing you promised to change it will seem fake, it may be seen as insulting even and to a dissatisfied spouse it may seem like you have just done this once to get on their good side and may see it as manipulative.

The best way once you find out what you need to do to win them back is to take action where action is needed, make sure they know about it of course and most of the time just doing what you said will be noticed but do not even mention it except in passing because if you really want to save your marriage then your ultimate goal and ultimate reward is to stop a divorce. You should not need a reward every time you take an important action, only look for the end game and you will be rewarded with a better marriage in the end a better understanding on how to be a good husband or wife because actions speak louder than words and adding words to actions just sullies them.

If these tips to save a marriage may prove useful in your efforts to stop a divorce from coming about click below to find complete guides written by marriage experts that can give you the step by step processes you need to bring about a happy marriage from impending break-up.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Tips to Save a Marriage – Dealing With Problems

Mar 16

Posted by James Fargo in Articles, Divorce, Stop Divorce | No Comments

Many tips to save a marriage will focus on the communication aspect of mending problems and issues and being able to move on from hurt which is a vital part of the process. However once you have mastered the art of not getting into a fight and being able to talk about things then the real hard work starts sometimes because you are going to find out some problems that need to be dealt with … but how?

Firstly a problem or an issue in a relationship once discovered might be a lot more than it appears. Couples divorce over money, children, career, abuse and a whole host of other things but behind some of these problems may lie deeper issues that need to be brought out. This can be difficult if your spouse does not want to admit something or perhaps does not really know themselves!

A good way to approach this is by writing things down. If you have come to a point where you can sit and discuss the problems in your marriage then not only talking about it but writing things down actually helps solidify what you mean and can reveal more to your partner. It also means your words in your mind that can be twisted by emotion and circumstance can be written where it cannot be retracted or changed as easily which is good for both of you.

This can be a starting point to taking action on issues because nothing changes if you just talk. To be fair you should write down one problem each one for one or there is the temptation to write down too many issues and it can cause resentment, but if you have a manageable list you can use that to find actionable things you can do to solve an issue that can also be written down as a sort of contract.

Now these tips to save a marriage might seem like common sense or maybe even way too difficult depending on your situation but my philosophy is:

  • Talk uncovers issues and starts communication.
  • Talk does not solve problems.
  • Action on problems solves them.
  • Action can only be determined once a solid agreement of a problem and its solution have been found

If these tips to save a marriage may prove useful in your efforts to stop a divorce from coming about click below to find complete guides written by marriage experts that can give you the step by step processes you need to bring about a happy marriage from impending break-up.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce

Tags: , , , , , ,