Posts Tagged surviving an affair

Emotional Affairs – The Ugly Truth

Feb 5

Posted by The Relationship Guru in Dealing With Affairs | No Comments

With the shocking rise in emotional affairs, let me reveal why it’s the most problematic of affairs.

While just about any affair will be devastating to you, emotional affairs will be in some ways more potent than the typical sexual fling. Even though the visual thought of your partner engaging in sex with another is very shocking, finding out that they’ve given their heart and feelings to another person throws you into the stomach twisting depths of painful disloyality and loss.

What makes an emotional affair substantially more painful is its incredibly elusive nature. Whenever your spouse has had sex with someone else, there’s a sort of finality about it. After all, if they have done the misdeed then you will have to make some choices, of either to work through it, or to leave.

With emotional cheating, it proves to be a lot more difficult as nothing physical has actually happened so it becomes almost impossible to accuse, confront or prove. Nevertheless, if you are on the receiving end it can be truly devastating.

With the incredible rise of people hooking up over the online world, it has actually stemmed, or at least elevated the number of emotional affairs. Due to the anonymity provided online, it has allowed us to be at our most open and susceptible, and share our most private thoughts, problems and desires.
Being able to share our feelings in such an uncensored fashion by it’s very nature can create a bond with a stranger. This is often followed by real feelings as the contact and emotional bond grows between the two involved.

But what are you to do if you’re faced with a spouse or partner who you suspect is emotionally involved with someone else?

I will start by telling you what not to do. The biggest mistake you can make is to start accusing and meltdown into flaming confrontations. This will have the opposite effect of what you want. Since there has been no physical contact it is very easy for him/her to deny anything going on.

Instead of barraging them with questions, or demanding to get assurance, or making strict requests etc, you need to work on the one thing that will help him/her snap out of this bubble of emotional infidelity. And that is to make yourself more wanted.

You do that by improving yourself, by spending quality time with them and by rekindling all the areas of your relationship that made your partner fall in love with you in the first place.

While affairs are difficult, it is a chance for you to grow yourself. It will pay off in spades now and for the rest of your life. Talking about the affair is crucial to move forward.

If you want to find out the exact ways you can cope with your own emotional affair I suggest that you take a look at this website that deals with how to save your marriage in these times of trouble.

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3 Surviving an Affair Tips

Feb 2

Posted by James Fargo in Affairs, Articles, Dealing With Affairs | 1 Comment

Coping with infidelity can be painful ...

Coping with affairs can be painful ...

Surviving an affair can be long and arduous process for those trying to mend their shattered marriage and rebuild the trust that has been lost due to one partners cheating heart. affair surviving can be done however as many successful marriages have overcome the problems and in many cases have come through stronger and better than before; sound unlikely? Well read on for some tips on how to survive an affair.

1. Control Anger & Hurt

Before anything more can be done one of the biggest problems in surviving infidelity in a relationship is anger and hurt. These emotions serve a purpose and they are justified to someone in your position but those that give in to rage and depression over a marital affair can never move forward. For instance, you must learn when to walk away from an argument without destroying it, say you will be back after a walk because you are too angry to talk right now and continue the discussion later. Do not end the discussion completely and do not ruin it with a yelling match and end up saying hurtful things … just get the anger out of your system elsewhere then come back and try again.

2. Communicate

This can not be stressed enough! Some couples end up not communicating about the affair because they know it will lead to another argument and others purposely choose not to talk about it thinking that by burying the past it can be forgotten. Neither of these approaches work … what works and what is the hardest thing to do is to talk about the affair, find out the who, when and why because only by understanding the affair can we inject some truth back into a relationship and from there can mend the wounds and find out what needs to change …

3. Realize It Will Never Be The Same Again

This is a stumbling block for many spouses who just want things like they were before the affair and cling to that hope for so long that when it never arrives they end up even worse. The reason for this is it never CAN be the same way as it was, nothing will change that. There is however, one powerful choice you can make here that can end the misery in time; you can choose to create a new relationship out of the old one! This choice combined with what you have learned means you can leave behind the old relationship that m ay have indirectly lead to your partners cheating and create a new one together that can be affair-proof because both of you know exactly what you need to create a successful, happy marriage and both of you will want to be with each other exclusively because you give each other everything you both need!

So if you want to find out step by step guides on how to achieve these steps, overcome and survive the specter of the affair and create the new marriage that you want click below to find out more.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

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Recovering From an Affair Does Not Have to be Difficult

Jan 22

Posted by James Fargo in Affairs, Articles, Dealing With Affairs | No Comments

Recovering from an affair can seem like the hardest thing in the world as the pain, anger and hurt seem to take up residence in your heart and refuses to move no matter what you try. This does not need to be the case however as we all have the choice to be happy and we all have the choice to change ourselves and bring others along with this change which can mend even the rockiest marriage.

The choice is a very important aspect of healing. It is not as easy as just waking up one day and choosing to put it all behind you as some people might try to do and end up lying to themselves but instead it is the choice to stop grieving over what has happened and to stop grieving over the loss of the marriage you once had and instead turn your sights to the future.

This means that the anger and hurt must be dealt with so that you can purge the negativity from yourself in order to make that choice with a clear purpose and without falling again to depression and anger. How to do this is the hard part for many people because it involves an honest and in depth discussion about the affair and all that it entails.

The anxiety and fear about doing this can make some people feel physically ill as we shy away from hearing about details of our loved ones in the embrace of another but that is not the point of it. The reason to discuss the affair is to uncover the real reasons why they did it beyond simple lust because most affairs happen because one partner is not getting something they want out of their marriage and end up looking for an emotional connection elsewhere.

This does NOT mean it was your fault before you think of it as such! THEY made the decision to cheat not you. THEY chose to abandon their vows not you.

What it does mean is that if you know where your marriage may have left your partner unfulfilled of wanting you can address that issue taking consideration that it was serious enough to drive them to an affair and work to fix those problems. It also means you can air your own feelings of anger and hurt in a civilized fashion with both of you in a discussion not an argument and only through this cathartic and informative discussion will you be recovering from an affair enough to purge the negativity to be able to make that choice … the choice to move in and create something new.

For more expert help on surviving an affair click below to get the help you need to create a happier life.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/affairs-cheating/

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